


sense memory

by thunderylee



Category: KAT-TUN (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-10
Updated: 2010-07-10
Packaged: 2019-01-30 19:09:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12659604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: The road to dreams is paved with wishful thinking.





	sense memory

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck. for the kiss meme 2010.

The visions resurface as Jin snuggles with himself in his foreign bed, somewhere between dreams and reality where he thinks he’s remembering something that actually happened but isn’t quite sure.

And he’s unconscious enough to not squash the thought because of morals, pride, or whatever he is supposed to feel.

He’s not sure if it’s true but anything’s possible, he’s drank a _lot_ over the years and with this same person, the one who is invading his thoughts with this tinge of deja vu like it’s more of a memory than a dream.

Laying in bed, squeezing his eyes shut because that makes it less shameful, Jin licks his lips because they tingle with the taste of another’s.

It could have been any number of the times they hung out at his place, drinking and watching TV or playing video games or just lounging around stuffing their faces. They’ve always just kind of naturally gravitated towards each other, even sober, although it’s much more likely that Jin would be embraced or even cuddled with the higher level of intoxication.

He rolls onto his stomach, pressing his face into his pillow because he doesn’t want to wake up yet, wants to imagine this intimacy that may or may not be real because it’s the closest he can get right now, half a world away from the one who always seems to make it better simply by existing.

No one will ever know if his lips move against the pillow, squirming as he recalls a hand at his waist gently pulling him close while the other one cups his face. It would have definitely happened like that, being under control of the other, because Jin could never bring himself to be so bold even after tossing back a few.

It made him less likely to stop, though, his inhibitions long gone along with everything he’s ever known in regards to society’s regulations and his culture.

Just because he’s in America doesn’t make him any less Japanese. Guilt triggers at the back of his mind because it’s wrong, _he’s_ wrong, but it feels so right and that may even be the basis of its appeal aside from the obvious fact that it’s _this_ person in _this_ situation and everything happens for a reason.

Even if it doesn’t happen for real.

He remembers their kiss like it was a true fact, lips moving lazily against each other while a hot, persistent tongue explores his mouth and takes a little bit of his sanity away. He feels it in his toes even now, twisting with frustration because he’d like to at least know for sure, if he really did experience this. If he could possibly experience it again.

It’s frustrating but Jin gives in, like he always does, succumbing to the pressure weighing on his head and smiling into his pillow as he recalls being surrounded by something emotional as well as physical, some kind of unconditional support that joins the strong arms around him and shameless mouth against his.

He was never really the strong one out of the two of them, anyway.

*

On the other side of the world, Yamapi throws back another shot and concentrates again. One of these days he’ll get his mental telepathy to work, he just knows it.


End file.
